How to Message People on TikTok, and Why You Sometimes Can't

Sending a DM takes three taps. Whether the button appears at all depends on two things you can check in a minute: your age, and the other person's settings.

Updated 2026-10-03

How do you send a direct message on TikTok?

There are two ways, and they end in the same chat. As of October 2026:

1. From a profile: open the account, tap Message (on some profiles it sits behind the three-dot menu or a paper-plane icon), type and send.

2. From the Inbox: tap Inbox at the bottom, tap the new-message icon at the top right, search for the person, select them and tap Chat.

You can also send a video directly: tap Share on any video and choose a contact from the row at the top. That opens or continues a chat with them, with the video attached. What Shared with you means on TikTok explains how a video shared this way can show up for the person later.

Group chats start the same way from the Inbox: choose more than one person before tapping Chat.

Why can't I message someone on TikTok?

Go through these in order, because the first two cover most cases:

• You're under 16, or the birthdate on your account says so. Direct messages aren't available to under-16 accounts.
• Their settings exclude you. If they allow messages only from friends, you both have to follow each other. If they chose No one, nobody can start a chat.
• One of you has blocked the other. A block removes the Message option entirely.
• The account is restricted or new. TikTok limits some actions on new or flagged accounts to fight spam, much like the follow limits in why you can't follow people on TikTok.
• The message itself was blocked. Links and repeated identical messages can be held back as spam.

Can you tell which reason it is?

Not always. TikTok doesn't tell you someone's privacy setting, and it doesn't announce blocks. If the Message button is gone on one profile but works on others, the cause is almost certainly that person's setting or a block. If messaging fails everywhere, the cause is on your account.

How old do you have to be to DM on TikTok?

Sixteen. TikTok's own guidance for parents and its support pages, as of October 2026, set 16 as the minimum age for direct messages, and the feature doesn't appear on younger accounts.

Accounts of 16 and 17-year-olds get messaging with more protective defaults than adults, and narrower choices about who can reach them. Parents using Family Pairing can also manage messaging for a linked teen account.

The age that counts is the birthdate entered when the account was created. If that date was entered wrong, TikTok's support pages describe an age-verification route for correcting it, which may ask for proof. Making a new account with a different birthday to get around the rule breaks TikTok's terms and can get the new account removed.

How do you turn on direct messages on TikTok?

If you're 16 or older, messages are already on; what you control is who can send them. To change it:

1. Go to your profile and tap the menu, the three lines at the top right.

2. Tap Settings and privacy, then Privacy.

3. Tap Direct messages.

4. Choose who can send you messages: Everyone, Suggested friends, Friends or No one.

Friends on TikTok means mutual followers, people you follow who follow you back. Suggested friends adds people TikTok suggests to you, such as contacts you've synced. No one stops everybody from starting a chat with you, which is stricter than most people need; Friends keeps messages open to people you know.

Can you message someone on TikTok who doesn't follow you?

Only if their settings allow it. If someone has messages open to Everyone, you can write to them whether or not they follow you. Your message usually lands in their message requests rather than their main chat list, and they decide whether to accept it.

If they allow only Friends, you need to follow each other first. Following them is the easy half; the follow back is up to them.

This is also why businesses and creators who want to be reachable either keep messages open to Everyone or put an email in their bio. If you're trying to reach a creator for a collaboration, the bio contact is often more reliable than a DM that sits unread in requests.

Where are message requests on TikTok?

In your Inbox. When someone you don't follow messages you and your settings allow it, TikTok files the chat under message requests near the top of the Inbox instead of mixing it with your regular conversations. Open it to see each request, then accept it to move the chat into your main list, or delete it.

Nothing forces you to answer, and leaving a request alone simply leaves it there. Requests are worth checking every so often, because brand offers and collaboration messages often arrive there first.

If you're getting requests you don't want, tighten your Direct messages setting to Friends, or report and block the accounts sending spam.

Can you see deleted messages on TikTok?

Not from the app. Deleting a message or a chat removes it from your side, and TikTok doesn't offer a restore button or a recently deleted folder for direct messages as of October 2026. The other person may still have their copy, since deleting your side doesn't erase theirs.

Be wary of apps and sites that promise to recover deleted TikTok messages. They can't reach TikTok's servers, and the ones that ask for your TikTok login are asking for control of the account. The same caution applies to tools that claim to reveal who viewed your profile or private chats.

If a chat matters, take a screenshot before deleting anything. Does TikTok notify screenshots covers what the other person sees when you do. For growing the account itself, buy TikTok followers adds to the public follower count from your handle alone, with no login, and it doesn't change who can message you. Every TikTok guide and service is on the TikTok page.

Questions people ask about TikTok messages